Thursday, July 22, 2010

Kippers for Sir Tobermory

This is my take on Tobermory written by Saki, about a too-candid cat of the same name, part of The Chronicles of Clovis.

The big wooden door was pushed open disturbing the peace in the room which was being utilized by Lady Blemely to address a speech to the people in the house party , the figure of Mr. Appin appeared with his sharp eyes and a grin on his face, he walked into the room with a swagger of a man on a mission and sat down .When Lady Blemely was finished he got up and addressed the guests, telling them about his successes in teaching an animal the art of communicating through language .

There was a roar of laughter in the audience , with an eyebrow raised ,Mr. Appin stood there till it died down and said “ I knew no one would take it seriously, thus I have come with proof”, the laughter now turned into anxiety and as the wooden doors opened again , all the people turned back to look .Through the darkness emerged a black felinae figure , it was a black British Bombay cat with a round and wide head connected to a blunt tapered muzzle, it’s eyes were green, set wide and had a sort of shine in them .It walked like a cheetah , slow and dangerous , it walked up to Mr. Appin , it’s whiskers slightly drooped in relaxation, ears in the forward position and sat straight with it’s tail coiled neatly around him like it had a diplomats soul it in.

Appin asked the cat “now Tobermory show them what you can do”.The cat sat there without any motion, it looked up to him and looked at the audience and didn’t do anything , Appin said “for goodness sakes say something”

“something” said the cat with it’s heavy ,Hugh Laurie like voice , extremely masculine and seductive. The whole crowd was surprised, they didn’t know what to say when the cat with it’s heavy British accent said “ now- now calm down my little human friends” it smiled sheepishly and said “no need to fall Arse over elbow with me , I am just a cat you know “ . Mr Appin stood there gazing at his greatest pupil but little did he know what was to come ,the cat noticed that everyone was in shock and said “ I know you are thinking that you have gone Barmy but spare me the ogles, a little bit of perseverance, hard work, a lot of tuna and Bob's your uncle”.

The cat felt like it had to say something and in its tryst with its new found talent it did , “we all love our Mr Appin don’t we”, a sly smile and a look at everyone including Lady Blemley was thrown by the cat and it began talking again “ I have always wondered why do people love him so much , is it his eyes ? hmm or is it his face ? or it is just in his personality that everyone seems to adore him?”.

Everyone in the room knew that Tobermory had been there when they gossiped behind Mr Appin’s back, no one did have the courage to say anything to him , how could they ? he was the most wealthy man in the town and majority of the guests in the party were in debt to him. One more word by Tobermory could destroy them, not one or two but all of them , to their surprise the cat said “Budge up Mr Appin we have to go to our house now “ it looked at Lady Blemely and said “ I hope you don’t mind dear but I like him more , its nothing person, he’s just better then you “

Walking slowly out of the room Tobermory said “ Appin my dear you should be thankful to me I didn’t tell them your secrets ,I hope my afternoon tea and scones are ready because you know how gutted I get when I don’t get them”, the cat smiled at Mr Appin and said “ don’t you worry ,your secrets are safe with me” and Appin while wiping sweat of his face said “yes I agree”.

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