Sunday, April 3, 2011

You make me happy ,very happy So happy that I can barely say

Sometimes I feel so happy its very hard to say

Sometimes it takes me two seconds to sway your way

Sometimes the only words that I can say

Are to small

Sometimes I go back to my happy days

Small, fresh trees and smell of Malgudi days

Sometimes I fell moved that I have to pray

So that it does not go away

The life comes up

The happiness wakes up

The water wets the earth

And I smile

The smell of wet earth

Those small mental math questions

That early morning Disney marathon

Make me happy , very happy

The smile , the talk, the walk

The care , the stare, the snare

Makes me happy

You ask the questions

You care to much

You shout, you scream

You buy me ice cream

You make me cry

Then lament yourself

You think its funny when I snare

I know , when you look

And I know when you stare

I really like you , you are funny

You make me smile when I cry

And cry when I smile

you make me wait for an hour

but when you come

its never awhile

You smell like happiness

I like your eyes

You taste of love

And I like your eyes

You make me happy very happy

So happy that I can barely say

These words aren’t enough ,

My stomach , still butterflies

Whenever, I see you

Its always smiles

Its no end now

No words are enough

I can write these lines

On a paper without ink

I smell you, when I cry

When I feel low, I miss you

I love you ,when you are not there

And I miss you very much

When I am alone and scared

You make me happy ,very happy

So happy that I can barely say

Saturday, October 9, 2010


when she walks up and down the hall , her smell walks with her . Her hair, wet with years of compromise and love, walk with her . She walks , runs, sits and walks until she is bored, until the sun shines bright .
she can hear the school bus ,hear the foot steps ,walking , running and sitting.Waving , she is happy , smiling and satisfied . She can hear love when she turns around ,smell it and taste it to. Its bye now , smiling, tasting and waving .

Alone now , breathing and living . Satisfied now ? brushing her hair ,out of the tangles .Is she happy now ? living now , washing , cooking and breathing .

Lying down , breathing , smiling . Closed her eyes .

she wakes up, travelling time, breathless , white bed and black flowers . They are there, her years, staring at her .Her hand in his and love in their eyes. They are all there, all her parts , sad and scared. She smells him, tastes him and closes her eyes.

Its goodbye now, smiling, satisfied and breathing, finally now.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Kippers for Sir Tobermory

This is my take on Tobermory written by Saki, about a too-candid cat of the same name, part of The Chronicles of Clovis.

The big wooden door was pushed open disturbing the peace in the room which was being utilized by Lady Blemely to address a speech to the people in the house party , the figure of Mr. Appin appeared with his sharp eyes and a grin on his face, he walked into the room with a swagger of a man on a mission and sat down .When Lady Blemely was finished he got up and addressed the guests, telling them about his successes in teaching an animal the art of communicating through language .

There was a roar of laughter in the audience , with an eyebrow raised ,Mr. Appin stood there till it died down and said “ I knew no one would take it seriously, thus I have come with proof”, the laughter now turned into anxiety and as the wooden doors opened again , all the people turned back to look .Through the darkness emerged a black felinae figure , it was a black British Bombay cat with a round and wide head connected to a blunt tapered muzzle, it’s eyes were green, set wide and had a sort of shine in them .It walked like a cheetah , slow and dangerous , it walked up to Mr. Appin , it’s whiskers slightly drooped in relaxation, ears in the forward position and sat straight with it’s tail coiled neatly around him like it had a diplomats soul it in.

Appin asked the cat “now Tobermory show them what you can do”.The cat sat there without any motion, it looked up to him and looked at the audience and didn’t do anything , Appin said “for goodness sakes say something”

“something” said the cat with it’s heavy ,Hugh Laurie like voice , extremely masculine and seductive. The whole crowd was surprised, they didn’t know what to say when the cat with it’s heavy British accent said “ now- now calm down my little human friends” it smiled sheepishly and said “no need to fall Arse over elbow with me , I am just a cat you know “ . Mr Appin stood there gazing at his greatest pupil but little did he know what was to come ,the cat noticed that everyone was in shock and said “ I know you are thinking that you have gone Barmy but spare me the ogles, a little bit of perseverance, hard work, a lot of tuna and Bob's your uncle”.

The cat felt like it had to say something and in its tryst with its new found talent it did , “we all love our Mr Appin don’t we”, a sly smile and a look at everyone including Lady Blemley was thrown by the cat and it began talking again “ I have always wondered why do people love him so much , is it his eyes ? hmm or is it his face ? or it is just in his personality that everyone seems to adore him?”.

Everyone in the room knew that Tobermory had been there when they gossiped behind Mr Appin’s back, no one did have the courage to say anything to him , how could they ? he was the most wealthy man in the town and majority of the guests in the party were in debt to him. One more word by Tobermory could destroy them, not one or two but all of them , to their surprise the cat said “Budge up Mr Appin we have to go to our house now “ it looked at Lady Blemely and said “ I hope you don’t mind dear but I like him more , its nothing person, he’s just better then you “

Walking slowly out of the room Tobermory said “ Appin my dear you should be thankful to me I didn’t tell them your secrets ,I hope my afternoon tea and scones are ready because you know how gutted I get when I don’t get them”, the cat smiled at Mr Appin and said “ don’t you worry ,your secrets are safe with me” and Appin while wiping sweat of his face said “yes I agree”.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

P.S- You killed me

She sat in her bedroom with a dead look in the eye and blood on her hands, her house was quiet now and there was no motion in the house when she stood up with her new discovered powers . It was raining heavily when she stepped outside her door , she spread her hands , closed her eyes and let the blood on her hands wash away as she breathed heavily and when she opened her eyes there was a child looking at her, she looked at him smiling and said “don’t grow up to be like him” .when she went inside , she went to the bedroom again where blood was everywhere and dragged the body to the kitchen .

She began to dry herself and change her clothes , she took of her dark shirt and loose pants, she looked at herself in the mirror and slowly looked at her old and fresh bruises which were hidden not from society but friends , she wore her new sari and jewelry . She looked at herself, smiled and said “no more misery” when the doorbell rang to her surprise, it was the same ten year old child whom she warned, looking at her with big eyes and asking “Bhabi are you okay”. She asked him to come inside and told him to sit on the sofa while she made him a sandwich while sharing the kitchen with dead body, the child asked about jasmine and she told him that she was with a friend as she was being very difficult to look after lately . After finishing the sandwich the child looked at her with a smile and said “you are my favorite bhabi in the whole colony ” , she smiled and said “I am going to my distant cousins place for a long vacation and might not come back for years”, the child’s smile disappeared and he said “I am sorry that bhaiya shouts at you, my mom says it’s because you don’t share your toys with him” he smiled and said “ I will share my toys with you then you don’t have to go” . she smiled at him hugged him tight and told him that she loves him and that now he must go , he got up to leave when she called his name and said “ I will miss you when I am there ,take care of your mom and tell her that I won’t share my toys with your bhaiya because he always breaks them and doesn’t say sorry” , she looked at him straight in the eyes and said “don’t become your bhaiya” , he didn’t know what she meant but he liked her hug today it was as if she would never ever meet him again. He smiled and went outside as she watched him and then she turned around and went to the kitchen , she took a deep breath , called the police and told them about two gunshots being heard in her house and hung up .

It was all dark now and the police was everywhere in her house , her husband came to the house at the usual time and was surprised to see police and demanded information . He walked inside his house and was handed out a note that was addressed to him then the police which read “ I cannot do this anymore , I am not going to get beaten up every day because you had a bad day , I killed your favorite jasmine because I wanted you to feel the pain that you caused me and I want you to know she howled very bad when I shot her , you treated me like the dog when she was the one and now I kill myself because I killed an innocent animal and because I can’t kill you , you made my life miserable and you are the reason I am not alive anymore”. He read the letter and asked the policemen about the bodies and when he saw the body it was a bloodbath , she was lying on the sofa with a half blown head and jasmine lay down with a bullet in the chest and he sat there motionless not knowing what to do and asked himself “was being human so difficult that he was a demon to her”.

Monday, May 24, 2010

I am a Damsel

You can tell me I am wrong

And Prove it with your lies

You can talk behind my back

Call me names and criticize

You can make fun of me

About us, him and I

You can even take pleasure in it if you like

But don’t take your stupidity in your stride

‘It’s easier said than done’ always remember these lines

I am sorry about my mistakes I know I let it by

But you should know I am Damsel , I don’t fight but surprise

Surprise you with my strength to sit quiet when you scream

Just because I don’t shout don’t think I can’t be mean

You had your chance and now I have mine

I hope you don’t go through what I went

Because it’s depressing to have a foe underneath a friend

Depressing to see what you have become because of a person who barely cares

Don’t feel sad when you will be used with the same snare

Fortunate of me that I got to know before I fell

That real friends don’t gossip ,but they tell

Sad for you I won’t give up cause I am better than that

Remember me , I am a damsel I don’t fight but surprise

Do you feel irritated to see me so cool and calm

Cause I make you feel foolish and sweaty your palm

I told you , I am not scared

You can’t shake a damsel with just pure hate

Cause when you see me and talk

A Damsel will smile and just walk

Sunday, July 12, 2009

babbles of an over emotional person :|

sadness is sooooooo weird :( its like difficult to understand and when your someone so emotionaly stimulated as me its kind of even more difficult , i fell sad in the most random things , the things that no one can see make me feel horrible . sitting in a rickshaw a normal person would look out for traffic where as i look at the poor rickshaw puller , i feel sad that he has to do this and i feel guilty that i am sooooooooo pampered that i think its totally normal for another human being to pull my weight and i can pay for it .It makes me feel so horrible that i am so difficult and as i look at him he uses his old cloth to clean his face of all the sweat and dust i feel even more horrible :( . the weather is sooooooo hot and he has to do this , when i get of the rickshaw i make sure i give him an extra Rs 5 but then i think to myself that is that all ? for Rs 30 this poor guy has pulled his rickshaw for 5 Km and i ask myself that what did i ever do to have such a nice life ? all i did was to be born in a family wid a lot of government officials , to be prity honest my dad didn't have an easy start because we are not the people with the family money and all that , my dad came to Delhi with no money barely 13 he wore a neckar and banyan , my dads eldest brother was working with the government and the other two brothers were working too , not with the government but with the seths of delhi where they had to sweap and do other menial works . my dad studied and became a pharmacists and then he was married to my mom ,then gave exams and became a government official and knowing all of this my whole childhood went with me asking myself really random questions like what he must have felt when he came here and other things .

i think i am so overly emotional because of our trips back to our village in kumoun for holidays and i saw how little kids would get happy when they got a bit of jaggery and how they used to be happy with our old clothes and the sweets that we used to give them . i was so surprised at their way of life which was without electricity and toilets !! and that made me feel guilty about having so much and from there started a wholeeeeee new life of questioning what i want and need.

sitting at my own hill :P i thought about things , things which were not suppose to be in the mind of a 10 year old , sadness for the poor , questions about the rich and confusion about my own place. All those thoughts still are there in my mind and make me this over emotional person who is always asking questions about the most random things :\ but to be prity honest i kind of think that its a good thing because at least i see the pain of others and not just mine , i see the sadness in a 12 yr old widow's eyes and the happyness on a rickshaw puller face when give him an extra Rs 5 which to me is nothing but to him is a lot and i feel happy because even if i feel sad in small things i get happy with that one smile :).

thanks mom and dad :)

Thursday, May 21, 2009


I was born an angel but they cut my wings,
they told me i wasn't an angel at all
all i wanted to do was fly but all i did was fall
because they cut my wings

i wanted to fly so high that no one could touch me
, all i could feel was the sky as i flew high
but all i did was cry because they cut my wings

all of it was a lie,
they told me i couldnt fly

they told me i would serve the beast
as he could only fend me from other beasts,
who wer not diffrent from wat he was
they made me believe all of them were born deceivers

they made me believe that one day i will say
' i loved the beast all i could but he leaft me for another angel

' he told me he couldnt stand me anymore
as i wasnt young or beautiful anymore
of these wrinkles and therefore
he left me and i dont need him anymore'
all these things they told me which were my future
but with faith in my heart i knew it wouldnt be true
and one day i would find him and he would find me to

so i waited and waited, now i am complete
because ive found the man who makes me feel at ease
and gives me my sky , my life and gets me back my wings
and now i fly

now i have an answer to those questiosn which were never asked
by anybody else but my own mind
and now my mind is without a doubt that hes the one
for me forever and now

dedicated to him :)