Thursday, July 22, 2010

Kippers for Sir Tobermory

This is my take on Tobermory written by Saki, about a too-candid cat of the same name, part of The Chronicles of Clovis.

The big wooden door was pushed open disturbing the peace in the room which was being utilized by Lady Blemely to address a speech to the people in the house party , the figure of Mr. Appin appeared with his sharp eyes and a grin on his face, he walked into the room with a swagger of a man on a mission and sat down .When Lady Blemely was finished he got up and addressed the guests, telling them about his successes in teaching an animal the art of communicating through language .

There was a roar of laughter in the audience , with an eyebrow raised ,Mr. Appin stood there till it died down and said “ I knew no one would take it seriously, thus I have come with proof”, the laughter now turned into anxiety and as the wooden doors opened again , all the people turned back to look .Through the darkness emerged a black felinae figure , it was a black British Bombay cat with a round and wide head connected to a blunt tapered muzzle, it’s eyes were green, set wide and had a sort of shine in them .It walked like a cheetah , slow and dangerous , it walked up to Mr. Appin , it’s whiskers slightly drooped in relaxation, ears in the forward position and sat straight with it’s tail coiled neatly around him like it had a diplomats soul it in.

Appin asked the cat “now Tobermory show them what you can do”.The cat sat there without any motion, it looked up to him and looked at the audience and didn’t do anything , Appin said “for goodness sakes say something”

“something” said the cat with it’s heavy ,Hugh Laurie like voice , extremely masculine and seductive. The whole crowd was surprised, they didn’t know what to say when the cat with it’s heavy British accent said “ now- now calm down my little human friends” it smiled sheepishly and said “no need to fall Arse over elbow with me , I am just a cat you know “ . Mr Appin stood there gazing at his greatest pupil but little did he know what was to come ,the cat noticed that everyone was in shock and said “ I know you are thinking that you have gone Barmy but spare me the ogles, a little bit of perseverance, hard work, a lot of tuna and Bob's your uncle”.

The cat felt like it had to say something and in its tryst with its new found talent it did , “we all love our Mr Appin don’t we”, a sly smile and a look at everyone including Lady Blemley was thrown by the cat and it began talking again “ I have always wondered why do people love him so much , is it his eyes ? hmm or is it his face ? or it is just in his personality that everyone seems to adore him?”.

Everyone in the room knew that Tobermory had been there when they gossiped behind Mr Appin’s back, no one did have the courage to say anything to him , how could they ? he was the most wealthy man in the town and majority of the guests in the party were in debt to him. One more word by Tobermory could destroy them, not one or two but all of them , to their surprise the cat said “Budge up Mr Appin we have to go to our house now “ it looked at Lady Blemely and said “ I hope you don’t mind dear but I like him more , its nothing person, he’s just better then you “

Walking slowly out of the room Tobermory said “ Appin my dear you should be thankful to me I didn’t tell them your secrets ,I hope my afternoon tea and scones are ready because you know how gutted I get when I don’t get them”, the cat smiled at Mr Appin and said “ don’t you worry ,your secrets are safe with me” and Appin while wiping sweat of his face said “yes I agree”.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

P.S- You killed me

She sat in her bedroom with a dead look in the eye and blood on her hands, her house was quiet now and there was no motion in the house when she stood up with her new discovered powers . It was raining heavily when she stepped outside her door , she spread her hands , closed her eyes and let the blood on her hands wash away as she breathed heavily and when she opened her eyes there was a child looking at her, she looked at him smiling and said “don’t grow up to be like him” .when she went inside , she went to the bedroom again where blood was everywhere and dragged the body to the kitchen .

She began to dry herself and change her clothes , she took of her dark shirt and loose pants, she looked at herself in the mirror and slowly looked at her old and fresh bruises which were hidden not from society but friends , she wore her new sari and jewelry . She looked at herself, smiled and said “no more misery” when the doorbell rang to her surprise, it was the same ten year old child whom she warned, looking at her with big eyes and asking “Bhabi are you okay”. She asked him to come inside and told him to sit on the sofa while she made him a sandwich while sharing the kitchen with dead body, the child asked about jasmine and she told him that she was with a friend as she was being very difficult to look after lately . After finishing the sandwich the child looked at her with a smile and said “you are my favorite bhabi in the whole colony ” , she smiled and said “I am going to my distant cousins place for a long vacation and might not come back for years”, the child’s smile disappeared and he said “I am sorry that bhaiya shouts at you, my mom says it’s because you don’t share your toys with him” he smiled and said “ I will share my toys with you then you don’t have to go” . she smiled at him hugged him tight and told him that she loves him and that now he must go , he got up to leave when she called his name and said “ I will miss you when I am there ,take care of your mom and tell her that I won’t share my toys with your bhaiya because he always breaks them and doesn’t say sorry” , she looked at him straight in the eyes and said “don’t become your bhaiya” , he didn’t know what she meant but he liked her hug today it was as if she would never ever meet him again. He smiled and went outside as she watched him and then she turned around and went to the kitchen , she took a deep breath , called the police and told them about two gunshots being heard in her house and hung up .

It was all dark now and the police was everywhere in her house , her husband came to the house at the usual time and was surprised to see police and demanded information . He walked inside his house and was handed out a note that was addressed to him then the police which read “ I cannot do this anymore , I am not going to get beaten up every day because you had a bad day , I killed your favorite jasmine because I wanted you to feel the pain that you caused me and I want you to know she howled very bad when I shot her , you treated me like the dog when she was the one and now I kill myself because I killed an innocent animal and because I can’t kill you , you made my life miserable and you are the reason I am not alive anymore”. He read the letter and asked the policemen about the bodies and when he saw the body it was a bloodbath , she was lying on the sofa with a half blown head and jasmine lay down with a bullet in the chest and he sat there motionless not knowing what to do and asked himself “was being human so difficult that he was a demon to her”.